love hate <3

i wish for things to go back to normal. and yes i mean everything and everyone. this year is byyy far thee craziest and the most unforgetable year. i cant believe all of the drama. the laughs and the tears. ahahahah its crazy. i lovee it but then iam sad. sometimes i feel as if my world has been turned up side down =(
i miss my niggah pretty r. i miss what we use to be. i miss my bff =(i miss our hanging out. i miss our trips to davis.going out each week to lunch and shopping.spending moneyy. laughin till we cry.getting drunk and our drunkin miss calls =( I MISS TOBY =( I MISS US :(
i dont blame anyone for what happen to us. i blames us. but i blame u more haahhaha. im sorry for what youve been put threw also.! trust me i was there and i feel for you i do. you just gotta knoe when to leave =)
old bffs- i miss you girls i really do. its sad that none of us are close anymore. i guess that happen in life?!i only wasnt friends with one then everyone wants to not talk anymore i guess whatever. its just sad that ive always been there for you huys when u needed me and now that im not friends with "her" yall dont wanna talk or be coo? i guess that highschool shit. but i dont really worry bout it no more it was sad a min but then i got over it fast. no need for tears =)

im thankful for my family. mains. favys. team <3 bffiraq. my kitty family.im glad to have each and everyone of you =)

i love my favyss ;)

everything isss alll good life is great =)

hurt..

where do i even begin? huh? really tho. i havent cried this much in a longgg time bacuse my life has been good and healthy. i dont know where my realtionship stands. ive fallen in love with the one person who ive cried soo much about to the point where i cant cry anymore.hes the one person who i thought id be in puppy love with. all i got was court dates, letters and money yanked from me.and them endless tears. he dosent understand that being together takes to people to make shit happen. ive been here for him for way to long and im tired of it.im tired of him not caring for me and making me worry about him 24/7 wondering if hes okay and that if im ever gona see him.being with someone whos not like you at all makes it hella hard to talk about things beacuse you dont see eye to eye. im a very postive person and hes hella neagtive like fuck the world type shit.ive fallen in love with a beast who i hella hope can turn into my prince but it dont look like hes changing anytime soon. oh well love hurts right????????? anyways..

drama with some of my hommies hasnt been the bizzness let me tell you... ive been friends for almost 8 plus years.. and lately its been hella rocky. i just dont understand how ur main just blows up on you for some stupid old drama shit.like yes I know ive done wrong dont get me wrong. i just feel as if my whole friendship has been worth nothing to you. ive never everrr attacked you like you did me. who was stuck by you everyday everynight to be there when u call and cry to me about this or that? ive been here since day one. i knew we are hella diffirent and we had our issues but who dosent? i just can believe after all these years where at this point? where do we go from here? i just cant understand why my sister my bestfriend feels this way to me?! hella unreal bhud. hopefully things will work out and if not no hard feelings right?
i feel bad about how our friendship is falling apart over someshit you did! i do blame you i do. i never ever done nothing more fucked up then what you did to me. i felt as if my bestfriend hella did me dirty. ive never ever touched or disrespected anyone like you did to me.i still cant get over what happen i cant. i forgave but i cant forget. i already have trust issues with people and it just made it 10X harder for me.you are suppose to be my niggah my bestbestfriend my childs god dadddyy shit.i just think this shit is hella unreal. and im hella sad cus i hella feel alone in this shit. i dont want anyone to get into this but what am i suppose to do. im just me and im hellla peaceful loving and forgiving. i miss how close we use to be how we would chill go out to eat shop and party hard and now look at us? were still fighting . i dont want to loose our friendship i dont but it seems so hard to even talk to you. i dont feel as if you really understand how i feel?! if you get what i mean. i feel so stuck like it got better then it just got worse i feel that if i hit rock bottom this month with everything. im sooo stressed my back hurts. im not hungry . im just hella emo but then not emo hahah. i wish things didnt have to happen like this but everything happens for a reason as i was told.





i dont know what to do anymore i dont? i wanna run away from everything and start over! its sad but its how i really feel.i feel so helpless.im sad and im a wreck.
wheres my besstfriend when you need him.. hes in heaven looking down at me telling me this is only a phase in life ...i misss you soo muchh you have no idea.. everyday i wished i could talk to you or just hear your voice to calm me down. i need you soo much it hurts. i need you to be here and to tell me things will be okay..
i misssss you deeply jayyy :'(

got nerve?!

im not the type whos gona blog bout some shit cus i got better thangs to do with my life but. ahhmmm. u got fuckin nerve off top im soo fuckin mad i cant express my anger to you. im sooo done its not funny.u fucked with the wrong girl. wait and see
and silly little bitch things will fall and they will fall hard . i promise =)
xoxo bby kitty ;)

in timee we will bee okayy ya??

Hands On Me Lyrics

ohhhh, yeah... ohhh.. yea.. yea..

See
Me and my girls having problems,
I need the time to breathe...
So I headed to club,
Straight to the VIP, hmm
Shoulda seen little mama,
reppin em Fendi Jeans,
and them Christian Dior, lookin kinda good on her feet

she got me like,
i had a couple drinks to me
shorty talkin shhhh to me
but thats not what i came here for
so i make my way to the door

i try leave the club,
but i cant because.. shorty got her hands on me
i said i really need to go,
but she's like no... shorty got her hands on me

she trains so hard to temp me,
and she keep going when she go and get me,
next thing i know, she grabbin on me (Shorty got her hands on me)

She all up on my head like dont leave... dont leave dont leave dont leave 2x
shorty got her hands on me..



[Hands On Me Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]

She got perfect timin'
more than that she's a perfect diamond,
the situations got me blinded,
coz i gotta girl at home.. ohhhh

now she all on my ear wit it..
damn the way she drop it down low,
can she pick it up real slow,
body really outta control.. damn

she got me like.. ohhh
i really need to leave now,
she grabbin on me..
and she aint what i came here for..
but she got me open like a door..

i tryna leave the club,
but i cant because... shorty got her hands on me
I said i really need to go,
but she's like no... shorty got her hands on me

she trains so hard to temp me,
and she keep going when she go and get me,
next thing i know, she grabbin on me (shorty got her hands on me)

She all up on my head like dont leave... dont leave dont leave dont leave 2x
shorty got her hands on me..

Im sorry but i gotta girl at home..
she hands all on me aint makin it hard to leave..
coz your body smells so good, you juz my type...
i wanna take you home, but girl i gotta goooooooo ohhhhhhhhh

nothing last foreverrrr.

its hella true. ive given a half of a year to someone who only cares for him self! ive given everything up for you! when u where locked up who was there too see you every time?? me! who called you parents every hour to make sure they are doing okay? me. who gave your family money when they needed it? who called in sick at work and didnt go to school? you dont understand how much i have given to you without me telling you every damn day! when i cry you tell me only bitches cry. who tells someone that? the only time I cry is when im around you! you make me feel as if im only in this relationship out of pitty for you. im too grown for you. i cant always hold you hand. you need to grow up and do things for yourself. i hate nagging to you bout what dumb things you do but its the only way you listen. i hate being a bitch to you and talk down to you but how else am i going to talk to you? im too stressed to stay in this relationship. going to court and dealing with all this drama is taking its tole out on me. i cant worry everyday about you. i cant live like this.i need to worry about myself. i need to spend time with my family and friends more. i love your family to death and im glad to have them in my life. they kept me stong when i was weak. im very thankful dont get me wrong. i just need to have my life back and get my head back on straight! finals are coming and its now or never. its almost summer and u know what that means!!!!!!! hello travel time!this year is about fun times partying up and living carefree. im done with the drama. and im gona start saving more.. paying off debt and spending more time at home =) i wish that sometime your bffs could understand more about things but they dont. and why must one still hold grudges still for so fucking longg.i could gives a fuck bout my old drama. no need to continue keep taking bout the past cus i dont care. i hate mean drunks!!!!on a brighter note its fuckin spring break 09 motherfuckers lets party =)

x0x0 bby kitty



mr le i will always love you no matter what! i need my time now and im sorry it has to be this way but your always in my heart. i cant do this anymore im over it. i love you for everything you have done for me. i will neveerrr forget. <33



RAQUELS BDAY IS IN 6 MORE EFFIN DAYS, WATCH OUT BITCHES WE GONA RUN THE STREETS =)

team bffiraq \SAC to LA says goodbyes =/

team bffiraq \SAC to LA

soo friday after work i left to LA/palm spring with nellieboo to go pick up pvc. deloso. bj! bj is leaving to iraq tues morning at 5 am =( for 7 months crazy rightt.. we had a crackkin weekend . the drive there wasnt long. but going to palms springs was crazy far! hella mountains and shit. all worth it to spend it the bffs =)bj drove me n nellie to LA later that night once we picked him up. we both hella knocked out! ahhaah then i woke up cus my drunk bug a boo wont stop callin! ahhha. out town house was hella cute! it had the works! bed was comfy t00 ;) lol. sat morning we woke up got ready left to the fashion district that was a good expirence! ahhaha . knocked out again in the car hella tired. woke up cus the damn sun was hella bright but that meant we where in san diego. called pauline bby to tell her to come n kick it on the beach ! we where hella tgaking pictures with the beautiful brackgrounds and stuff. posing with the rental and taking candid pics! pauline met up with us and we drove to la jolla for p.b beach and we went walking all over then to the beach. it was a chilly ass day hella cold! the damn sun didnt wanna come out anymore =( so sad. we took hella pics at the beach even tho it was super cold! we got tired walked back and decided to take more pics haha. left la jolla to go to the outlets by mexico! it was pretty chill. they didnt have anything cute =( seen a diamond hello kitty necklace at nieman marcus last call store but they wanted like 2 racks. im coo. ahhaha went walking around a bit more chatted with pauline bout eg gossip and what not. met back up wit nellie n bj took pics in the little kid rides! went to pauline hood chulla vista. went to eat at cheese cake factory hella bomb! told the waiter it was bjs half bday. ahahah cus wont get to spend it with him cus of damn iraq!! all good tho.got pretty drunk . nel had toyko tea and i had a girly drink still hella strong tho.!said pur goodbye to pauline and sd and left back to LA.knocked out once again. woke up cus im auntie was calling. talked for a bit to bj about random shit. got checked by the border ppl hella werid. ahahah.got back to the townhouse and drank oj and vodka eww hella warm not cool. got tipsy and watched a scary movie! even tho nellieboo feel asleep on me n bj! he got drunk started talking bout him leaving to iraq hella sad made us tear up =( he made us alot of promises so he better keep them cus we are! we all have fiendship braclets on that i bought us and we gona wear them foeverrr!it was a good ass mini vaca but a sad one cus they goodbyes and the tears were coming =( we took bj back to base and went to there walmart hella white ppl. ahahah we where the only other race there! hahhaah made bj a pics key chain that hes gona wear under his jacket! hella cute.. then it was off to drop him at his dorm thingy he went to go get his usmc flag up in his room so nellie could sign it! sat in the car listen to sad songs then said the goodbye =/ we dint cry in front of him but as he left us we started crying =/ it was so sad. gosh i hate saying goodbye. left 29 palms of whatever it was called. headed back to sac cus i had a midterm and nel had work. took hella effin long juss to come home=( hella tired ddunt make it home till 6 am or whatever blahh. then naped real fast then went to school. took my test went to hung lan to go get yummy viet food with amy baby. went home and koed! now im up watching twlight and talking to bj threw txt cus hes leaving soon! han called me too and talked to him for a bit.fixed my myspace now im on here venting. dang this month has been crazy...

good luck bj deloso! we miss you already! team bffiraq is holding it down for you! see ya in a few months! goodnight :)

birthdayy gifts are coming ;)

my 21st birthdayyy iss cominggg..

sooo my big 21 birthdayy is almost here and im supperr excitedd bhudd.

cant wait to do grow people thangsss and go clubbing and get to drink! no more pre drinking ahhahah. im excited for my birthday dinner too. not sure where its gona be but ill let my mains know whats upp.. nellie and jeje wanna get a booth for my bday too not sure which club but yeah!!!!!other than that school is always super fun. ahahah not. work is but the paperr . still looking for a better job. i get paid well but i want more yaa know..

oh yeah the mac hello kitty line launched last week! and im excited cus i got most of it but im hoping i will get all of it for my bdayy!! ahah i know some gifts this timee . ahahhah goodd ass set of friends man! otherr than that vday wass a good day had work than was taken to SF twin peaks babyy. i got my vday hello kitty doll shes a cutiee. her name is princess cupcake =)

it was a good vday =) lovee my mr. le. ahha besides our hate lovee thangg. lol.